Epic! THE DIARY OF MRS. TEPENDRIS!

For the couture shows this season, T sent Mrs. Tependris, the high-society doyenne who is the fictional alter ego of the artist and T contributing editor Konstantin Kakanias, to Paris. “She hadn’t been for years,” Kakanias said. “Things have changed, so she was a bit confused when she arrived.” But she got her bearings soon enough and soaked up the weeklong high-fashion parade. Here, Kakanias shares some of the things that his heroine saw and did.

Meeting Gareth Pugh and Michele Lamy at the airport (Sunday, July 30, afternoon)

“These are the really good people. This is Mrs. Tependris’s introduction, her welcome to Paris. Her friends came to pick her up.”

The Versace show (Sunday, July 30, evening)

“It was extremely hot. I almost collapsed.”

Donatella takes a bow (after the Versace show)

“When Donatella Versace came out, what she was wearing was so tight, she couldn’t bend a leg! So there was a bodyguard who took her, like an inflatable doll.”

Peter Marino entering the Christian Dior show (Monday, July 1, afternoon)

“He has this alter ego — he calls himself Pedro. So I called him Pedro of Finland. All the leather he wears, it’s not leather you buy at the sex shop. It’s made for him. The people go crazy when he shows up.”

The Giambattista Valli show (Monday, July 1, evening)

“Valli had the soul of couture. It was very Rome. Mrs. Tependris thinks she’s Cleopatra. She says ‘Antony, don’t come back.’ He dies outside.”

A cocktail party for Schiaparelli by Christian Lacroix (Monday, July 1, late)

“This was shown on mannequins, not women. Mrs. Tependris loves this outfit. It is in the spirit of Robert Bresson’s ‘Les Dames du Bois de Boulogne.’” Mrs. Tependris imagines herself as an actress in the film. She thinks it captures the Parisian mood. It may not capture the time, but it captures something timeless.”

The Jean Paul Gaultier show (Wednesday, July 3, afternoon)

“The hair on all the girls was funny, like sprayed leopard, to match the leopard-print collection.”

The Valentino show (Wednesday, July 3, evening)

“The most beautiful show of the Paris couture shows was held at the Hôtel Salomon de Rothschild, which was made to look like a cabinet of curiosities. This was the square room, a very beautiful room. The clothes were marvelous.”

A visit to the Christian Dior showroom (Wednesday, July 3, evening)

“Mrs. Tependris went to the salon for an appointment. This coat is so complicated to wear. It makes her feel that life is complicated.”