The Traps!

The traps of “too much” or “too little”
My ancient Greek ancestors used to say “all in good measure,” but throughout my life I often felt that I was too much or too little of something.
Once I was too little to go to school: Right before starting first grade, my mom took me to a large department store in downtown Athens to buy me a uniform. Yes indeed: I was alive at the time when students wore uniforms, much as this may sound strange to you.  Come on, I live in Hollywood now folks; and in Hollywood your age doesn’t show! Anyway, there was no uniform for my size at the store. They said that I was too small to fit in a uniform. Yet I needed to go to school because I had reached the appropriate age.
Then, while growing up, I wanted to be a model. But I was still too short…
Later I got taller, but I had a bosom that was too ample for me to become a model. My interest for modeling coincided unfortunately with the period when flat-chested women were in fashion. I was expected to have fewer curves to fit in their dresses.
At some point I considered working in journalism as an apprentice (there were no journalism schools at the time like there are now). I went for an interview at a large newspaper in Athens. I was very anxious and wore my most elegant clothes to impress them. As I arrived, however, I realized that to be a journalist in those days I needed to look very artsy and intellectual, the times were different. In their eyes, I was too “glamorous” for a journalist, that’s what they told me. I had no intention, however, to wear a long pleated dress with tassels at the end, to circulate with oily hair and to wear large nerdy glasses so that I could fit their prototype of a journalist.
Then I became pregnant and the doctor told me that I would not be able to give a natural birth and would need to have a caesarean section because my pelvis was too narrow. Needless to say, I gave natural births twice and those in fact at home.
As a mother, I was deemed to be too old to dance in the street; I needed to appear more serious.
I needed to be less intelligent around men, but look more educated when attending a business meeting.
And while initially I had been too young to fall in love with an older man, here I am now perceived to be too old to fall in love with someone younger!
It took me a while, unfortunately, to realize the trap, but now I KNOW THAT I AM WHAT I NEED TO BE. And what I need to be is what I am. I don’t need anyone else to tell me what I can and cannot do, what is appropriate and what is not, or that I am “too much” of this or “too little” of that. I came to realize that the only limits for me are the ones that I will set to myself.
Now I KNOW how to pursue my goals and to not let anything or anyone distract me. I will not abandon my objective because of some inferior “rule” which says that I am too short, or to old, or not capable enough!
Now I KNOW that these are all traps that I should avoid. They are traps placed by my ill-informed ego to myself.
I am what I need to be to achieve my goals. The ideas and prototypes of others do not change me; I modify them according to my needs.
I focus on what I WANT to achieve with the belief that I am the most important ingredient to my personal success. And I do so knowing that those individuals who changed the world did not fit into any conventional social norm.
Would you believe it if I told you that I am even thinking of turning old age into something trendy? !!!:):)
What do you think?

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