The Innocence Of Sex

Από την/τον Polyxeni Kokovika | 26 Ιουνίου 2014


Sex is one of the best things on this planet. In my mind, it constitutes the closest connection to God or to our divine entity. It is a spiritual-psychic-intellectual communication with the universe, expressed in the material world. We were created with physical needs. We need oxygen, water, food, and sex. Yes, that’s right! What I never understood is how an absolutely natural need such as sex was distorted so much.


– The air that we breathe became toxic from the pollution of factories and cars;

– water was polluted by waste;

– food was poisoned by technical treatment (colon cancer is ravaging the world due to poor nutrition);

– and the “art of love” has been marred by the word “sin.” When did this really happen? Why were Eve and Adam naked in the Garden of Eden and with what right did some religion come and distort what was naturally evident? We were born to have sex, our sexual organs are there for sex and reproduction, and each time we have this need we should satisfy it so that we can be happy, balanced, and healthy. Our natural drive is something beyond a need. It is the culmination of a need. It is the sublime pleasure, the supreme art which, as with all art, has its wonderful and its vulgar creations.


Prudery, taboos, and pornography are forms of slavery that were imposed on people to control and to rule them; brainless people give this matrix of prejudices the permission to imprison them. And so we have reached the point where we consider a man to be a pig when he needs sex constantly and a woman to be a whore. To children, we replace the actual names of genitals with certain silly words, predisposing them with this prudery and incorrect teaching to problems with their sexuality. What in the world are we doing?

Those who preach morality as a sin and the natural desire of sex as a taboo are sick individuals who effectively foment violence. This is so because a person without sex becomes isolated, violent, and more. This fact has been established scientifically. Take, for example, those religions which transmitted to the world the attitude that the body is impure and everything that followed: The violence, the tortures, the shame.


Take all this repressed sexuality that is behind each sexual harassment; the increased addiction of men to internet sex; the women in the western world in isolation because no one will speak with them anymore, for fear that they might be accused of sexual harassment. In the US, for example, company employees are trained in such a way as to avoid any communication that might be construed as sexual harassment by the other person. All these reactions are manifestations of a sexually oppressed society. Look at all the countries where sex is so severely prohibited that women are raped on a daily basis. It is a vicious cycle: Sexual oppression + promotion of violence = Violence and misery. The sublime pleasure, the self-evident, the natural, the wonderful, the masterpiece, the most ecstatic moment, which the ancients considered as the supreme expression – in civilizations such as the Greek, the Japanese, the Indian, e.a. – and which was represented in pottery, in books, and in every form of art, was suddenly transformed into something “dirty,” something “vulgar.”

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They also imposed on us prefabricated beliefs as to how sex “should” be. There is no such thing as “should” or sin, as long as you don’t harm anyone directly and also as long as you know how to protect yourself and others from sexually transmitted diseases! Whether you wish to be monogamous or not, it’s for you to decide; if you want to be gay, same thing. We are multifaceted, multicolored, and different from each other; and with different needs. We were all without exception born naked and with physical needs that were distorted by our family, by society and, most of all, by religion (which two or three thousand years ago imposed certain rules with the main objective to protect the faithful from sexually transmitted diseases). In fact, we have reached such a point that we don’t react as much when we see films with scenes of incredible violence, but react more when we see sex scenes. Wake up!!!

We need desire, passion, tenderness, caressing, ecstasy and training on how to become better lovers. What will I do with all the school courses in language, math, history, etc. when in my everyday life no one teaches me how to express my needs and my emotions? How to cultivate my relationships? How to develop correctly my own sexuality? We are becoming a generation of loveless individuals and sex has become “fast-food:” Without substance, tasteless and without its nutrients, without ritual. When I lived in Africa, parents would send their daughters for a few weeks to a sex seminar. They would typically lock themselves up with an aunt or some other relative who would mentor them in the erotic art, which included things such as how to move their pelvis, so as to satisfy their partner and give a proper birth. This is in fact something that many people ignore: The vibrations of the pelvis in a dance have their origins in the erotic art and facilitate childbirth. As a result of this ignorance now in the western world, women typically give birth while lying down flat on a medical bed, without help from gravity, and from the vibrations of the pelvis. Consequently, they have lost contact with femininity, with sexuality, with true maternity. All these things are interrelated. I describe oppressed sex as «emotional constipation.» Sex is a simple natural phenomenon like hunger and thirst; nothing more.

We have reached the point, however, in our world, where we are afraid of sex and this inner fear has become a sexual fantasy. So, on the one hand we have a pathological drive for sex and on the other we fear it. And this fear manifests itself in two different expressions: Some see sex as a sin and others as pornography. Both symptoms though are two sides of the same coin. The first step for all of this to change is to accept that sex is a natural phenomenon. Leave religion out of a natural need! The satisfaction of my natural need does not presuppose that I should seek someone’s permission. Should I also seek permission to go to the bathroom? Everything around us relates to sex, everything relates to nature’s flirt with the goal of reproduction. The peacock shows off his feathers; the branches of the trees shake so that they can transmit their seeds with the wind. A woman dances in front of a man with the subconscious goal of sex. It is a natural ritual and this ritual is important.

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As Prince Michael of Greece correctly observed in one of his recent books: “In order to control people even more, the Church became involved in sexual matters because it knew that this is one of the most indispensable needs. The ancients considered erotic love as an integral part of life, a natural element of being, it respected it as something beautiful, and it had applied to it certain rules which extended its unique quality. They did not treat it as something exceptional, they accepted it in the way it was, fully aware of its demands. The Church covered it with mud. As a result, erotic love became something disgusting; it was transformed into a sin. Sex, which is necessary to man, became a forbidden good. People, bowing of course to the temptation, became sinners. To free themselves from the sin, there was only one solution, confession, clergy, the Church, thanks to which they could hope, they could be forgiven, they could enter paradise. The huge power of the Church therefore was built on the most stable basis in the word: on sexual frustration.”

Sex is natural, it’s not a sin. Mankind by its nature has a huge sexual drive that no one can ignore. If they do, it will boomerang back, it will be transformed into a disease, it will create psychological problems, it will destroy many parts of life and it will cause energy blockages. Each religion promotes its own teaching. Some say that you should have as many women as you want and others that you will go to hell if you have “dirty thoughts.” Imagine having someone tell you that you can’t go to the bathroom because it’s a sin! What would happen? We would all be sick, we would go crazy! It’s impossible for us not to go to the bathroom, it is a natural phenomenon. Imagine though if some Saint came down from the heavens and imposed this as a rule to us. I know people who don’t go to the bathroom for weeks and have «constipated personalities.» I know people who don’t have sex for a long time and they have many psychosomatic and mental problems. We need to recycle our energy with sex. True faith and religion is love, forgiveness, and compassion!!!

Sex is jubilation, it is ecstasy, it is an expression with a permanent presence and concerns all ages… Let’s not try to rationalize it. We should simply accept it, enjoy it, feel it, live it, respect it; and when we embrace it completely it will become Love…



Polyxeni Kokovika

Polyxeni Kokovika

Η ΠολυΞένη Κοκοβίκα είναι life coach, holistic mentor, καθοδηγήτρια ζωης. Τα τελευταία χρόνια ζει στο Λος Άντζελες όπου δίνει σεμινάρια και προσωπικές συνεδρίες. Θεωρείται μέντορας και health Guru των επωνύμων.

Έχει ταξιδέψει ανά τον κόσμο μαθητεύοντας και διδάσκοντας. Ξεκίνησε σε νεαρή ηλικία εξερευνόντας τον κόσμο του show business αλλά γρήγορα στράφηκε στην εσωτερική αναζήτηση. Ο κύριος σκοπός της είναι να βοηθήσει ανθρώπους και να βελτιώσει την ποιότητα ζωής τους. Γι’αυτό το λόγο διδάχτηκε πολλές μεθόδους εναλλακτικής θεραπείας, μεταξύ των οποίων η ομοιοπαθητική, naturopathy, yoga, ύπνωση, κινεζική παραδοσιακή ιατρική, νευρογλωσσικός προγραμματισμός, κα.

Η ίδια πιστεύει οτι είμαστε εδώ για να ευρύνουμε την ύπαρξη μας, και βλέπει τον εαυτό της σαν μούσα της οποίας ο σκόπος είναι να εμπνέει, να στηρίζει, να καθοδηγεί, και να θεραπεύει. Εχει μια έμφυτη διαίσθηση και θέληση να ανακαλύπτει και να κατανοεί τους γύρω της. Η ίδια λέει οτι το καλύτερο πανεπιστήμιο που τελείωσε είναι η οικογένεια της. Μέσα άπο την ανιδοτέλη αγάπη που εισέπραξε σε αυτό το ζέστο Ελληνικό οικογενειακό περιβάλλον, ωθήθηκε η επιθυμία της να βοηθήσει και τους άλλους. Και γι’αυτό, το μόττο της είναι «η αγάπη είναι η καλύτερη απάντηση.»


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